Chasing the wrong prize
"Peace of mind" is surprisingly elusive that I consider it a luxury, an extremely rare all-encapsulating indicator of wealth — that even with little to no money, I can be wealthy.
Hitting first ten thousand is a milestone, a hundred thousand is an achievement, a million is spectacular, but the goal post keeps on moving and the zeroes keep on pushing the finish line farther; bet it won’t stop even with a billion. I contend that “peace of mind” is a nobler form of luxury, a more elusive form of wealth.
The journey may be different for everyone, but I have found peace of mind in three things: peace in pursuit of stealth wealth, peace in digital minimalism, and peace that comes from emotional strength.
Peace in pursuit of stealth wealth
It took me a while to realize that my friend who always says “I’m broke” is actually practicing stealth wealth. At first I thought they should publicly flaunt their hard work through the traditional markers of success — money. But then, it made me realize, having public trails of wealth attracts not just the praises but also the evil eyeballs like scammers and fraudsters. It’s like waving a fiery red flag in a sea of bulls ready to attack. I work in the finance industry and I’ve seen the worst — CEOs getting kidnapped and having their fingers sliced as proof, demanding ransom.
So no, it doesn’t matter whether my money is in billions, or millions, or thousands. I’d probably stay lowkey and maintain my peace. There’s a reason also why the biggest billionaires chose modest cars and houses, even simple outfit-repeater clothes. They chose to live in privacy. It took a while for me to get it, but it’s peaceful to live privately, even when I don’t have the money … yet.
Peace in resisting the urge to “flex”
“Why do they take photos every time?,” a European classmate asked. Even after graduation, I sat on that question and defended that we record-keep things to remind us of our growth. Over months, I still continued to post about things I’ve achieved, I had the right to post them because I “worked hard” to get them.
Packaged in another perspective, the same question haunted me again when I read about the book “digital minimalism”, and it didn’t make sense at first. Maybe because I was primed to believe our identity and validation is tied to a carefully curated social media profile and that the more we achieve, the more we’re “valued”.
I still post some of my life wins.
I must admit, the numbers are rewarding — not just the hearts, but also even merely the “views”, they’re true source of instant dopamine.
It still took some time to unlearn this behavior, until now I am still in the process of unlearning it. But what I can say is: I have reached a point where validation comes from within and not from others, and I only let people know up to the extent of what I want them to know — and that’s a top tier kind of peace of mind that I’m currently enjoying.
“Feel the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you,” said the song Unwritten. Things won’t hurt me if I don’t let them in.
Peace that comes from emotional strength
Even in worst times, like losing a job I worked hard to achieve for almost a decade, or losing a loved one, I still find ways to find “peace”. Having emotional strength in the worst of times is like having a shield-like umbrella that allows me to breeze through life, even in the worst seasons.
When I received my first setback, it truly hurt. I sought refuge in my support system and it was comforting to know that there are people who exist whom I can call even in a 3AM emergency. I feel grateful to those family and friends who are genuinely there, without judgement.
Beyond this external support, true strength must come from within. With every hurdle, I always tell myself: “I’ve been through tougher times before, I can survive this storm”. I’d say emotional strength is a skill that can be developed over time.
So in the GTA world, even when life says “BRING IT ON” with the challenges and whirlwind of tough times, having emotional strength is my “HESOYAM” that powers me through.
Yes, we can be wealthy
Overall, the pursuit of “peace of mind” is not “giving up” social media, it’s just living intentionally. As my mom would always say, money can buy almost anything but “there won’t be a store where you can shop for peace of mind”. So regardless of the number of zeroes in my bank, yes I am wealthy, because I can protect my peace of mind.